My gardening failures.

The perfect looking courgette, until you turn it over.

Every gardener has disasters and failures in the vegetable patch and I am no exception. 

This page is designed to make you feel better when it all goes tits up despite your best efforts.

Below: My latest tomato variety - the Chernobyl.

Below: Is that fireworks I can hear. No it's the cabbages exploding.

Below: Lets have Kohl-rabi with dinner tonight.

Or not. The slugs have eaten more than their fair share again!


Below: I didn't want cauliflower anyway.

The 2021 leek harvest:

Despite planting nearly 200 leek seedlings from 4 different varieties, this was the sum total of the crop in early 2021. Yes they are leeks, even though they are developing bulges at the base.

8 leeks, and they were s tough as old boots.

Below: A Yorkshire summer strikes again.

2020, the year the broccoli was rationed:

It actually grew very well and tasted amazing, it never got very big and the side shoots were like pencils.

Below: Effin mice! who knew something so small could eat so much.

The kiwi crop failure of 2016.

I have 2 large and well established kiwi vines in my big poly-tunnel and the harvest is usually about 20 to 30 lb of well formed fruit.

Not this year. 12 fruit, the largest of which was about the size of gooseberry.

Below: One and a bit out of 60 planted isn't so bad for fennel.

The disastrous tomato crop of 2012.

In the UK this was a year without sunshine and it rained all the time. Not a single ripe tomato, indoors or out and everything seemed to rot on the vines.

Below: FFS!

Below: Goats! Don't let anyone tell you goats are good to have around. They are escape artists that will eat everything.

I had two for just over 7 months and they became so infamous they has their own Facebook page.

This article was updated on February 29, 2024

John Hayes

I developed a love of gardening at a young age and would often help my grandfather in the garden. I like to think I am a a talented gardener with a passion for plants. I have a particular interested in growing native plants and wildflowers without the use of chemicals and artificial fertilisers. I think most people can grow something for themselves even in the tiniest spaces and that doing so has many benefits for the mind and body.

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